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I zigged when I should have zagged
AHHHH!!! So I have something that I need to write out, but I can’t on the site cause he reads it … and he already doesnt like what I do … and um yeah. Alrite, so on night 2 of my social experiment - I met a super super super cute guy. We’ve gone out on a few dates … but he doesn’t jive with what i do and isnt looking for anything serious. He’s actually like literally the sweetest dude on the planet, and more than anything just wants to kick it.
it fucking frustrates me though and i told him the other night that i wondered if the only reason why i was attracted to him was because he was emotionally unavailable. WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT THIS KEEPS HAPPENING!!! AND WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT!!!!!!
I’ve just been tearing up all day. i dont get it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Not even like in the chick way of beating myself up - I just do NOT understand what my next doable action is in this scenario. If I could at least understand some bit of something from what I am doing and what I am attracted to, then I guess I could do something about it, but im just so clueless.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
We have a date tomorrow, but i told him i wouldnt blog about it, and im not even bringing my phone out.
im just over it. im just so so so over it.
it makes it that much harder when so many people look up to you. i get soooo many emails from people offering help and support, but its not these guys. it’s something inside of me. I just dont know what to do at this point.
How can i stop being attracted to dudes like this?!?!?!
#help
