Hi friends! I am on a mission to better myself and have been documenting the good, the bad, and the ugly for three years facilitated solely through corporate sponsorships.
If you are looking to sponsor please email: JenFriel@TalkNerdyToMeLover.com
AHHHH!!! So I have something that I need to write out, but I can’t on the site cause he reads it … and he already doesnt like what I do … and um yeah.
Alrite, so on night 2 of my social experiment - I met a super super super cute guy. We’ve gone out on a few dates … but he doesn’t jive with what i do and isnt looking for anything serious. He’s actually like literally the sweetest dude on the planet, and more than anything just wants to kick it.
it fucking frustrates me though and i told him the other night that i wondered if the only reason why i was attracted to him was because he was emotionally unavailable. WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT THIS KEEPS HAPPENING!!! AND WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT!!!!!!
I’ve just been tearing up all day. i dont get it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Not even like in the chick way of beating myself up - I just do NOT understand what my next doable action is in this scenario. If I could at least understand some bit of something from what I am doing and what I am attracted to, then I guess I could do something about it, but im just so clueless.
We have a date tomorrow, but i told him i wouldnt blog about it, and im not even bringing my phone out.
im just over it. im just so so so over it.
it makes it that much harder when so many people look up to you. i get soooo many emails from people offering help and support, but its not these guys. it’s something inside of me. I just dont know what to do at this point.
How can i stop being attracted to dudes like this?!?!?!
AHHH!!! I’ve been in my new home for almost a week now after urban camping for almost 365 days straight, and I can’t even begin to tell you how happy it is making me.
No, like for real - my OWNNNN bed, my OOOWWNNNN room, my OWWNNNN space. Just so incredible.
And um, all for getting to do cool and weird shit? How AMAZING is that?!?! So so so grateful.
Keeps me motivated at the same time to keep this. It was easy before because I had absolutely nothing to lose - now i’ve added a layer of responsibility. I knew where there were homeless shelters if I ever absolutely needed one - etc. I can’t go back to that mentality. It’s so unbelievably stressful. ::sigh::
I slept in a bed last night! i slept in a bed last night! i slept in a bed last night! i slept in a bed last night!
that made my life.
king sized bed.
Can I please shower with hot water again soon? Seriously! Cause I know a lot of people in this world don’t have running water - and I know, super grateful to even have a roof over my head-n-all … but for reals, I would KILL for a hot shower. We haven’t had a steady stream of it in weeks, and uh, yeah, it sucks.
Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. with whipped cream and a cherry on top?
oh holy shit fuckerdy, I am tired. Not like tired tired - but just trying to come to terms with things emotionally. This whole pilot process is way more emotionally tolling than one could imagine. For real, seems like this magical dream, but that’s just the romanticized version. Again, don’t get me wrong, worst problem in the world to have - wow my head hurts because I’ve been researching trademarking for the pilot they are basing on my life and my brand. *worlds smallest violin*
This is all a very strange thing to experience, and then broadcast. One, I have to be conscious to not tell the whole story - while at the same time, it totally excites me that I’ve documented every.single.step of the journey from the very beginning in the hopes that people could learn something from it. Actually, lemme keep it real, I posted those thoughts in the beginning just as a sounding board for myself. At the time, no one read us - so I lie, I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me; life is reflective. The documenting in real time however has been the most bitchin part about the entire last year. Every meeting, every skype, every anything - all documented.
Dude, I just want my own home again. Like so badly. Like so so so so so badly. I want to go to the grocery store, buy my own groceries, and sleep in a bed that I call my own. Day 98 of sleeping on my current couch situation, and haven’t had a home to call my own since May 23, 2010. Fucking bat shit. Fucking bat shit. Fucking bat shit. I had no idea it would have lasted as long as it did. Again, I still would ABSOLUTELY do it all over again - duh. But, I just need to decompress. Nothing has really even started yet, and that just blows my mind. Dude, so many people know the story too. BLOWS MY MIND that a friend of the site had a friend working over at the Verizon call center when I called in a few weeks back - they heard my name and went CRAZYYY!!! It’s weird, and none of that has hit me. You see analytics, but they’re just numbers on a page. I kinda get it every once in a while when I go out - but then I come home and sleep on a couch. Keeps you humble, thats for sure, but I still won’t change.
HAHA, famous last words, I know I know. But I’ve already been around this part of the rodeo. I’ve lived in LA for 7 years, I’m very honestly not phased by much. I just really really REALLY love my website. I LOVE exploring human nature, in an honest and engaging way. I just want to tell stories in social media, and some how come up with this formula to then be able to shift into more of a producer mode for other people’s stories when my own becomes too public and uninteresting.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT A HOME!! PLEASE!! AN APARTMENT! A ROOM! A PLACE TO ACTUALLY PUT THE FEW THINGS IN THIS WORLD I STILL HAAVVVEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
I just want to keep coming up with ways of getting sponsors to cross shit off my bucketlist. Skydiving was AHMAZING! And oh yeah, sponsored by a bedding company?!? Insane. People just really like the brand name, I almost never hear the word “no.” Which is rad, because I never settle for a no anyway; it’s just a starting off point.
I REALLY WANT A HOMEEEE!!! I REALLY REALLY REALLLLYYYYYY WANT A HOMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ps. my parents are proud of me again. that feels good.
p.p.s my brother told me i had put on weight since he last saw me. i informed him that it was difficult to find a low carb option when you are bartering for food all day, every day for a year. BUT! That’s why my latest sponsorship is a gym. Oh LA - behave.
::waves:: hello cyber world. this is a test, this is onnllllyyyy a test